10 Ways to Improve Your Personality

Contrary to what you may think, you can improve your personality!

We now know that not only can we improve our personality, but we can also develop it in ways we previously did not understand or believe possible!

Until quite recently, the consensus was that personality is permanent. In 1890, the famous Harvard psychologist William James wrote in his influential work The Principles of Psychology that personality was "set in plaster" by early adulthood.

This view prevailed for over a century; however, the idea that personality is more fluid has gained ground over time. We are now at the point where we realize that we have influence and control over which traits and characteristics we want to develop or refine.

What is Personality?

The personality is the typical pattern of thinking, feeling, and behaviors that make a person unique.

When we say someone has a "good personality," we mean they are likable, engaging, and pleasant.

Everyone wants to be attractive to others. To that end, having a good personality is more vital than good looks.

Approximately 85 percent of your success and happiness will result from interacting well with others. Ultimately, your personality determines whether people are attracted to or shy away from you.

While we can only enhance our looks to a certain extent, we can improve our personality as much as we want. We can develop or integrate any trait we deem fitting and agreeable into our personalities.

Here are 10 great ways to improve your personality:

1. Be a better listener. In her day, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis was considered one of the most charming women in the world because she cultivated the skill of being an exceptional listener. She accomplished this by looking people in the eyes, hanging on to their every word, and making them feel important. Nothing is more appealing than having someone listen to you intently, as if you're the only person in the world.

2. Read more and expand your interests. The more you read and cultivate new interests, the more attractive you are to others. Meeting new people allows you to share what you know and exchange your views with them.

3. Be a good conversationalist. Being a good conversationalist relates to how much you read and know. Once you have much to contribute, learn how to discuss it with others. No one can read about or know everything, so it's refreshing to learn from others those things we don't have the time to read about ourselves. If you are shy, join a group like Toastmasters that encourages you to talk about what you know.

Enjoy the article: The Art of Conversation

4. Have an Opinion. Nothing is more tiresome than trying to talk to someone with no opinion on anything. A conversation has nowhere to go if you have nothing to expound on. If you have an uncommon point of view or differing opinion, you are more stimulating to be with socially (unless you're a know-it-all). A unique outlook expands everyone's perspective.

5. Meet New People. Make an effort to meet new people, especially those unlike you. It exposes you to different cultures and alternative ways of doing things and broadens your horizons.

6. Be yourself. The next most tiresome thing after having no opinions is trying to be something you're not. Molding yourself to fit in or be accepted usually backfires. Since each of us is unique, expressing that uniqueness makes us interesting. Attempting to be a carbon copy of someone else not only falls flat but it demonstrates a lack of authenticity.

7. Have a positive outlook and attitude. No one wants to be around negative people who complain a lot, are often down, or have nothing good to say. Most of us run when we see them coming. Instead, be the kind of upbeat person who lights up a room with your energy when you enter it. Do it by looking for the best in people and situations. Smile warmly, spread good cheer, and enliven others with your presence.

See article: How to Think Positively

8. Be fun and see the humorous side of life. Everyone enjoys the company of someone who makes them laugh or smile, so look for the humorous, quirky side in a situation - there always is one. Comic relief is a much-welcome and necessary diversion at times. When you are able to add fun and lightheartedness to an otherwise dull or gloomy setting, others will naturally be attracted to you.

9. Be supportive of others. Being supportive is the most endearing quality you can integrate into your personality. Just as you welcome it, support others when they need it. We all love a cheerleader in our corner, someone who is encouraging, believes in us, and helps pick us up when we're down.

10. Have Integrity and treat people with respect. Being honest and true to your word will bring you the admiration, respect, and gratitude of others. Nothing improves a person's personality more than integrity and respect - respect for others, as well as respect for yourself.

We humans have the power and ability to shape our personalities however we wish. When we develop ourselves to be all that we can be, we contribute to our own, as well as the happiness of others.

On a related note, having a pleasant, engaging personality is significantly related to Emotional Intelligence (EI or EQ). Those who have a high EI tend to have great personalities.